The Labyrinth: A Parody
by tigerandsassy
Summary: This is a parody of the Labyrinth. Really don't know how to explain it...just read...and review! THANKS!
1. Chapter 1

Ok guys. I know that this movie needs no parody cause, well, it's pretty humorous in itself and all. But I had to give it a go. Who knows maybe it will inspire some new chapters in my other stories!   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 1  
  
  
  
A young girl is standing in a park. She is dressed in jeans and a top that looks like it came from medievel times. She is talking to a random owl....  
  
  
  
Author: Don't owls sleep in the day? What is the point of this owl? I mean really. It freaks her out once and follows her around...  
  
  
  
Someone who has never seen the movie: Uh, could you please not give away the entire movie in the first few minutes please?  
  
  
  
Author: Sorry. Anywho.  
  
  
  
The girl sounds like she is from medievel times but the background tells us that she is not actually in medievel times, which makes the audience wonder if she is just very strange or if she is putting on a play.  
  
  
  
Author: AHHHH....THAT'S what the owl is for...  
  
  
  
Audience: SHHHH.  
  
  
  
Author: Sorry. Ahem.  
  
  
  
Young girl: Give me the child. In dangers untold and hardships un- numbered, I have faught my way to the castel beyond the goblin city, to take back the child that you have stolen. My will is as strong as yours and my kindom is as great.  
  
  
  
At this point thunder is heard and the audience is in full suspence...see!  
  
  
  
*looks at audience.*  
  
  
  
Audience: ZZZZZZZZZZZ  
  
  
  
*nervous laughter from the author is heard.*  
  
  
  
The girl gets a blank look on her face.  
  
  
  
Young girl: My kingdom is great....Why can't I ever remember that line?  
  
  
  
The girl pulls out a book from seemingly no where and begins to read.  
  
  
  
Young girl: You have no power over me...  
  
  
  
Suddenly a clock chimes and the audience is jerked awake. They see the young girl freaking out that it's seven o'clock and she and her dog merlin begin running home. It begins raining and the audience stands up and begins shouting as the rain begins catching up with the young girl. The audience sits down disappointed when the rain gets the young girl soaking wet.  
  
  
  
Young girl: IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!  
  
  
  
The audience looks at one another is shock confusion and begin whispering to one another.  
  
  
  
Audience memeber 1: What's not fair?  
  
  
  
Audience member 2: Did we miss something?  
  
  
  
Author: Oh, my land! People! Sit down. That line was meant to cause suspence, not confusion!  
  
  
  
Audience: *confused looks.*  
  
  
  
The girl runs up to her house and we see a mother figure standing on the front pourch waiting and looking somewhat annoyed.  
  
  
  
Mother Figure: Oh, really.  
  
  
  
Young Girl: Look. YOU try running in the rain with this heavy white medievel top on and jeans! I mean....I'm sorry.  
  
  
  
Mother Figure: Well, don't just stand there in the rain, get inside, so I can yell at you some more!  
  
  
  
Young girl begins going inside and the dog follows  
  
  
  
Mother Figure: NOT THE DOG!!! What are you thinking! He's soaking wet!!!   
  
  
  
The young girl looks down at her soaking wet clothes and then at the soaking wet dog, shakes her head then remembers that she is a brat teenager.  
  
  
  
Young girl: But it's pouring rain outside!  
  
  
  
Mother Figure: WHAT!!! RAIN?!?! Where?!?! *bites nails* S..sssara...  
  
  
  
Audience: Finally we learn her name!  
  
  
  
Mother Figure: Excuse me, but your interupting my speech which Sara is about to interupt and which I am then going to interupt.  
  
  
  
Audience: *looks embarrassed*  
  
  
  
Mother Figure: You are 53 minutes and 72 seconds late young....person.  
  
  
  
Everyone, but Sara: *looks confused.*  
  
  
  
Sara: I said I was sorry.  
  
  
  
Mother Figure: Stop being a brat and let me finish, you big brat teenager! Jeez, Your father and I hardly EVER have time alone with each other, what with you and your little brother, theres just no time...  
  
  
  
Sara: WHAT?!? You go out every night...I mean, every Weekend.  
  
  
  
The Father Figure of the house comes in from some random door, oblivious to the argument that is happening between the Mother Figure and Sara.  
  
  
  
Father Figure: Sara! Your home! We were worried.  
  
  
  
Sara: Duh dad. Can't you see that me and mother dearest here have been arguing by my obvious stomping up the stairs?  
  
  
  
Father Figure: What happened? Did she get into a fight? A wreck? ...baby...Sara....you alright?  
  
  
  
Mother Figure: What... am I the evil step mom or somethig? I can never say anything right.  
  
  
  
Father Figure: I'll talk to her.  
  
  
  
A/N: Yes, I am ending it here, in this very odd place to end such a story...but...if you review, you will find out what happens next!!!  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 Sara has run up to her room in anger towards the world and we hear a nice little tune playing as we enter her room. There are several odd looking stuffed animals and other odd items in her room. Author: See, she really is weird! People who haven't seen the movie: WHAT?!?! Why? How do odd things in her room tell us that she is odd? STOP GIVING AWAY THE MOVIE!!!! Author: *Cowers* Sara is quoting the Labyrinth again very slowly, after we see very many important items in her room we come to her staring in a mirror with a crown that looks like it came from Burger King on her head and she is putting on lipstick. There is a light knock on the door. Audience member: How on earth is her hair dry already? It was POURING outside, remember? The audience nods their heads in confused agreement. Father Figure: Sara? I'm here to talk to you about how you are treating your step mother. However, I won't even mention your step mother except to say that we are leaving and won't be home till late, and that we put your brother Toby to bed. Sara: Yea, uh-huh, you REALLY wanted to talk to me didn't ya? You practically broke down the door there. Just go...I'll just give Toby away to the goblins while you are gone. Don't worry about a thing. I hate you by the way. Father Figure: Quick, get to the car before she comes out!!! Sara throws herself on the bed and gets whiplash, bouncing a few times, before coming to a stop Sara: OWWWWW!!!! A baby begins crying in the background and Sara looks up towards a shelf that was hanging on her bedroom wall. One spot is empty. Sara: Aw, HELL no!!! Where is Lancelot? SOMEONE HAS BEEN IN MY ROOM!!!! AGAIN!!!!! Audience member: Jeeze, will this attitude ever go away? Author: HEY!! No interruptions people! Sara: Yea, you don't interrupt MY major temper tantrum OK?!?! Audience member: Ok, alright, jeez, I'm sorry. Sara: Ok, where was I? Someone in my room...OH, yea. I HATE THAT!!! Sara runs out the door and into her parents bedroom where there is a baby in a butt ugly orange and white striped outfit. The audience begins believing that Sara really has something against this poor crying baby as she yells at him to be quiet. Sara: Someone save me! Someone take me away from this awful place. Lancelot: Dude. Shut up, and stop squeezing me! Audience member: Can you say 'Drama Queen?' Sara: What the....uh...I'm going to pretend I didn't hear my stuffed animal talking. You wanna hear a story Toby? I made this one up myself. Cause I'm weird and I think there is a goblin king that looks a lot like David Bowie in spandex pants and he's kinda creepy but I think he's really hot! ...Cause I'm weird, and so I'm going to call on the goblins to take you to the goblin city because the baby, that's you Toby, was being cruel to the girl, that's me.... People who haven't seen the movie: *in utter confusion.* What is going on here? I don't understand this at all. How does and innocent little baby be cruel to a teenage girl? Goblins: *roll eyes.* There are some random goblins sleeping, but at the sound of Sara's story they wake up. Audience member: That made a lot of sense. Sara: Toby, shut up. I know your a baby and you won't stop crying if I keep yelling at you but your stupid and ugly and you won't stop crying! I'll say the words!!!! Toby: Shut up. You don't know the words. Goblin 1: Hey guys! That weird girl is going to say somethin' Goblin 2: So. She's weird. I'm goin' back to sleep. Goblin 3: Hey, lets pop some pop corn and watch the weird girl. She's always provided entertainment for us before! Goblin 2: Good point. I'll get some pop. Goblin 1: I'll get the corn. Gillette: IDIOTS!!! Audience: LOOK!!! It's Gillette from 'Pirates of the Caribbean!' Author: Gillette, your in the wrong movie. Gillette: I know, but come on. These Goblins are IDIOTS!! Everyone knows that she is going to say 'The Words' and then what? They'll all be comfortable and such and if they don't take the baby there will be no movie! People who haven't seen the movie: *Get up and leave* Author: WAIT!! Don't leave!! I swear, I haven't told you everything, like the talking doors and such! WAIT!!!!! *runs after people who haven't seen the movie* Sara: Excuse me, but I'm trying to say 'The Words' here. Do you mind? Audience, Gillette: Sorry. Goblin 2: Did she say the words yet? Goblins, Audience, Gillette and Sara: SHHHHHH. Goblin 2: Sorry. Sara: Goblin king, goblin king, take this child far far away from me. Goblin 4: Those aren't the words! Goblin 3: What a bunch of rubbish. It doesn't even start with 'I wish'!!! Sara: I sure wish I knew what to say to make the goblins take you away. Goblin 3: I wish the goblins would take you away right now! Is that so hard? Audience: Didn't he say it DIDN'T start with 'I wish'?? Sara: I'm going to walk out of the room and leave you crying in your crib now. Of course I'll also mention that I wish the goblins would take you away right now and of course you will suddenly stop crying and of course this is where the author will stop this chapter. Author: *Looks around* 


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